So you survived the newborn phase. Congratulations! You’ve learned to function on two hours of sleep, 10 cups of coffee, and you deciphered cries like a baby whisperer. You may have even mastered one-handed sandwich-making while holding a squirming infant. You thought you were finally getting the hang of this parenting thing, and then, boom, your baby becomes a toddler.
A Caffeinated Squirrel!
Suddenly, you’re living with basically a roommate with the mood swings of a Hollywood diva, the energy of a caffeinated squirrel, and the negotiation skills of a seasoned lawyer. And if you’re currently Googling ‘toddler won’t go to sleep‘ at 2:00 AM while hiding in the hallway. Congratulations, you’ve officially entered the toddler zone. It’s chaotic, hilarious, and occasionally exasperating, but it’s also one of the most extraordinary times in your child’s development and your patience! Here are some of the things that you can expect when you have a toddler.
A Need For Autonomy
1. You’re going to quickly learn that toddlers have opinions. Gone are the days of a baby who simply cooed and went along with your plans. Now you have a small human with thoughts and emotions. Big ones. Passionate ones. And those big emotions are encapsulated in a very small human. You’ll learn that there is a right cup, a wrong colour of socks and an entirely unacceptable way to cut toast. But those opinions will change every hour, which means that what worked in the morning may not work in the afternoon. Toddlers are driven by the deep need for autonomy. They want control, but they don’t have the emotional regulation to express their needs. The best thing to do is to go along with what you can and what you can do with them, but don’t try to negotiate unless you enjoy trying to negotiate with a blender.
2. Sleep is still a myth, just a more theatrical one. Remember the newborn nights you thought were brutal, but you still coped because newborns are cute. Toddlers bring a new level of bedtime drama. Suddenly Bedtime is a Broadway production that can rival any Sondheim. You’re going to hear the cut and calls of one more story and the emotional soliloquies of thirst and ‘I miss Grandma’. There may even be an unscheduled appearance of ‘Hi Mummy, I’m not tired’.They’re not trying to manipulate you because toddlers don’t have the ability to do that, but it’s their brain’s way of testing boundaries and seeking comfort. They do eventually sleep, usually, sometimes OK, rarely, but you will get there.
3. Toddlers like to find where they can control things. Feeding a toddler is like hosting a dinner party for a mercurial food critic. One day, they’ll devour broccoli like it’s candy, and the next, they’ll act like it’s poison. Textures, colors, shapes, everything suddenly matters. Food suddenly becomes a battle of wills and not a battle that you were equipped for. The trick is not to make food a fight. Offer a variety of healthy options as well as safe foods that they will definitely eat, and then let them decide what and how much. Don’t be fixated on sitting at the table or developing manners too early. Let them free range while they eat. If necessary, they won’t starve. Toddlers eat based on appetite, not adult expectations.
4. You’re about to become fluent in a new language. Your toddler’s speech will explode during these years, but explode doesn’t necessarily make sense. You’ll become an expert at decoding sentences like ‘I need the big one with the thing’ and ‘no want pants’. Celebrate every new word, even if it’s shattered during a tantrum, and celebrate every new sentence when they finally put things together. Also, prepare for the moment when they repeat your words back to you. Sometimes these will be swear words, but understand that they don’t know what context means yet.
5. Their energy is endless. Toddlers don’t walk anywhere. They sprint, they bounce, they leap, they climb. They act like everything is an Olympic sport. Their stamina is shocking, and you’ll spend your days chasing, redirecting and muttering things like please don’t lick the dog. The key to surviving this whirlwind is finding safe outlets for the boundless energy. Parks, outdoor plays, sensory activities and dance parties will be lifesavers, and you can sneak in 5 minutes of sit-down time while they’re distracted with bubbles or crayons.
6. You will witness the birth of imagination. Toddlers are natural storytellers, and you’re about to witness what it is to have a toddler who can tell you stories that make no sense half the time. Every spoon becomes a spaceship, and every blanket becomes a superhero Cape. Play pretend because this is how toddlers learn. You’re going to learn what it is to see their problem-solving and empathy skills develop.
7. Meltdowns come with a territory. Toddlers have very big emotions in very tiny bodies. As we’ve already mentioned. When they’re happy, it’s pure sunshine, but when they’re angry, you’re about to see some rage that is unmatched. Acknowledge their feelings and teach them emotional regulation, because you’re going to have to teach them this so that they can learn how to do it themselves. Eventually, they’ll learn to tell you how they’re feeling instead of launching into a floor performance, but you just have to be patient until then.
8. You’re going to question your sanity. There are going to be moments when you swear that your toddler is a genius. They can count to 10, they can sing a song, and they can even remember where you hide the snacks. But moments later, they’re going to lick a shopping cart handle. Parenting a toddler is a roller coaster, and one minute you’re going to be feeling confident about it, and the next you’re going to be wondering how they’re surviving. The good news is that you’re not alone in the madness, and it really does get easier.
Featured image by Jen Theodore on unsplash.com.
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