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Independent Thinking on Loss – A Review

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Review: Independent Thinking on Loss

The Covid-19 pandemic is continuing to cause rising levels of deaths. Official statistics note that over 37,000 people have died in the United Kingdom and there have been high numbers in the USA, Spain, Italy, France and Brazil.

Funeral Service Restrictions

Despite a range of efforts by scientific and medical teams, nothing has prepared populations for the coronavirus. Social isolation, grieving at a distance, restrictions on family get-togethers and restrictions on attendance at funeral services have caused many people considerable emotional stress and anxiety. In particular, many have experienced difficulty in coming to terms with their feelings of sadness, loss or grief in isolation. The major impact for many mourners is that they have been unable to say their last goodbyes or share happy memories with others.

As a result, people have expressed their personal anxieties on how best to communicate with family members. Following a “time lapse” caused by social isolation or distancing. In a recently published book Independent Thinking on… Loss – A Little Book About Bereavement for Schoolsby Ian Gilbert, in conjunction with his three children, he discusses the depth of loss, suffering and sorrow at the death of Ian’s wife and their mother. The book focuses mainly on the support or otherwise they have received. In particular, they discuss a range of tips of “what to do and not what to do” for; family members, work colleagues, friends and professionals when children, young people or adults have experienced bereavement.

Analysis of Bereavement

Gilbert discusses many background research projects linking loss to a range of adverse outcomes, including; mental-health illness, reduced aspirations for the future, symptoms of depression and a potential link to homelessness, alcohol or drug dependency. His analysis of bereavement as a process rather than an event is extremely helpful. Particularly for those persons coping with sudden deaths.

At this extraordinary time in world history, with the chaos caused by the pandemic having repercussions in every country of the world in terms of individual isolation, shutdown of schools, colleges, places of work, shops, pubs, restaurants and leisure facilities, the opportunity to share grieving and happy memories may well be weeks or months following a death.

“The Process of Loss”

The book gives readers excellent practical support on how to approach individuals who have suffered from and experienced the ”process of loss”, including the initial aftermath.

The coronavirus, in common with mental-health illness, does not discriminate. It pays no attention to; your age, family background, income, wealth, status at work or even fitness levels, as experience in recent weeks has shown. Reading this excellent book will give everyone who is suffering loss increased awareness of a range of skills and personal confidence to address bereavement. This topic can be talked about and acknowledged, rather than something to shy away from or leave to someone else.

Author: Ian Gilbert et al

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John Morris for Love Wrexham Magazine
Author: John Morris for Love Wrexham Magazine

John is an FA coach. He has worked with young players at Fulham, Chelsea, QPR and Wrexham, promoting resilience, tenacity and self-discipline. He is currently a consultant addressing growth mindsets to promote sports, education, and business performance.

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