When we think someone knows more than we do, we can be vulnerable. Knowledge and experience are valuable, and it’s reassuring to hear another’s opinion. I’ve mistakenly assumed someone with training knew more than I did on a few occasions. Going against my gut instinct, I found they were wrong, and so was I, for listening to them – not my gut instinct!
Is this right for me?
It’s great to trust, but also be discerning. It helps to check in with ourselves and ask, “Is this right for me?”. Kahlil Gibran says, “The teacher, if he is indeed wise, does not bid you enter the house of his wisdom, rather leads you to the threshold of your own mind.”
We’re all so different. To assume we know what is suitable for someone can be disempowering, especially if they haven’t asked for our opinion.
The ‘E’ word
Occasionally clients use the ‘E’ word about what they think I may know, eg, what treatment shall I have? I remind clients they can be their own “expert”. They may have a fleeting thought of being drawn to a specific therapy, so I ask, “have you any thoughts yourself?”. I may have ideas that may benefit them, but I like to hear theirs first because often, their own intuition is on to something. Then, I can empower and encourage them.
Pay Attention To You
A popular saying is “no unsolicited advice”, as this is how someone can disempower us. Someone may assume we don’t have our own answers and can’t find our way in life, so tell us what to do. An aware therapist creates a safe space to allow clients to find those answers via open questions and encouragement to help people reconnect to themselves.
The phrase, “pay attention to yourself”, indicates that “where attention goes, energy flows”, and that’s our payoff. We empower ourselves, charge ourselves up and learn to value and trust ourselves. It enhances our intuition and self-esteem, knowing that our opinions are as valid as anyone’s. This also helps build self-confidence.
Just Say No!
Difficulty saying no can be tricky. It’s not easy to stand alone and make choices others may disagree with. Working with the colour yellow, and crystals such as citrine and yellow jasper may help remove blockages in the solar plexus. This energy centre deals with our personal power and links with our gut feeling.
Just Say Yes!
As we learn to stand in our power, knowing what we want in life and how we fit in, we make more confident choices.
If you want answers, try this: Pause, take a few breaths and just notice how you are. Ask yourself, “how do I feel? What do I want to do? What’s the situation telling me?”.
Listen to your body. Do you feel tense, or do you have a full-body comfortable YES? Listen to yourself, practice and remember you are your own best expert. Take your power back.